How to Become a Dominatrix? (The Complete Guide)

To become a dominatrix, one must understand the role-play technique called dominatrix, which falls under BDSM. The BDSM encompasses erotic practices such as bondage, dominance, submission, and masochism. Scratching, biting, and reversing roles are some fundamentals of BDSM. Interestingly, the Kama Sutra, an ancient Hindu text famous for the knowledge of sexuality, eroticism and sexual fulfillment of life, also talks about the same. 

Apart from giving you knowledge on dominatrix, this article can also help you become a successful findom. You will be exposed to toys and equipment used by dominatrix professionals.

What is a Dominatrix? 

Dominatrix are females who take on the role of being dominant in sexual roleplay or BDSM activities. Being a dominatrix, you show machismo and control the whole bedroom or any place where the whole roleplay is happening. When you are playing the dominant role, your BDSM partner will be the submissive one, and you get to spank, whip, abuse, bondage, etc., to enhance sexual pleasure. 

BDSM or dominatrix toys play a vital role in the process of performing a roleplay, including bondage, domination, submission and masochism. The majority of adults seem to explore BDSM and feel the pleasure they see online. But before becoming a dominatrix, you should be aware of the play and take precautions to control it better. 

Things to know before you become a dominatrix 

Before you embark on becoming a dominatrix, you make yourself aware of the following to have a successful career ahead. 

1. Safety and Consent of Your Partner

In a sensual or sexual relationship, a dominatrix—also termed as a domme—takes command, and the other person, the sub or submissive, agrees to comply with her wishes and commands. That being said, you still require your sub’s consent. You and your partner must provide mutually informed consent before and throughout any sexual action. 

Since BDSM (Bondage-Discipline, Dominance-Submission, and Sadism-Masochism) is centered around sexual control, it doesn’t mean that you have to go wild and hurt your partner. 

2. Set a Boundary Mutually

Before engaging in BDSM, discuss with your partner what is and isn’t acceptable. This will rely on a variety of elements, such as pressure, pain, and psychological distress. Making a “want/will/won’t” list can help you figure out how your desires and those of your sub align with one other. In essence, a “want/will/won’t” list out your desires, what you will do in response to requests, and what you won’t do. 

3. Observe your Sub’s Body Language 

Observing your sub’s body language is crucial as it will help you understand if your partner is enjoying the play as you guys should.  Even though it’s common for the sub to take on the role of the “victim” in BDSM, you can typically distinguish between BDSM play and an absence of consent, especially when the sub is getting gagged. 

Keep your eyes fixed on them and see if they stiffen up or turn off. This suggests that they may not be experiencing pleasure out of the play. Establish this in advance, and if any of these happen, you will stop the play immediately. 

4. Set a Caution Word or Gesture

Establish a caution word or a caution gesture to guarantee consent throughout the play. The safe word or gesture will help the domme understand if the sub is comfortable with her actions. “Slow” and “stop,” or “red” and “yellow” are a couple of examples of safe and cautionary terms. 

For example, you and your sub both agree to stop the play once any of you say the word “red” or “stop.” The same goes for “slow” or “yellow,” etc., where you guys can decide to slow down the play. 

The caution gesture depends on various factors, such as a free body part that is not involved in the play, facial expressions, etc. If a sub doesn’t feel pleasure, they can change their facial expression to let the domme understand that you want her to stop the play. Other simpler motions include stomping, blinking, nodding, head shaking, etc. 

5. Be Prepared for Emergency Situations 

To become a successful dominatrix, you need to follow some standard rules and regulations to perform a pleasureful and safe BDSM play. Keep the necessary tools to cut down bondage or any BDSM props or toys in case of emergency. 

Availability of a first aid box is also recommended, as there is a lot of BDSM equipment involved, and anyone may get hurt. Having accessible drinking water is also recommended because, after a strenuous BDSM play, a sub, if not the domme, would need some water to stay hydrated. 

How Much Does a Dominatrix Get Paid?

The income of a dominatrix depends on various factors, so the salary scale is wide. Some models have very little success as dominatrixes, but this is typically due to their lack of work and motivation to make money. 

However, some models make it big in the dominatrix field and earn around $40,000 to $80,000 per annum or more from their clients. These models work extremely hard on their content and become experts in their field with time.

The average monthly income for a dominatrix is $5000. This sum assumes a regular monthly work schedule of 90–120 hours. Becoming a dominatrix can be exciting because it can expose you to many opportunities and help you earn a lot of money.

How to Become a Dominatrix? 

You can follow these simple steps to become a professional dominatrix-

Step 1: Research and Choose Your Kink

To become a professional dominatrix, you must first research and determine if this is your proper career path.

It is advisable that you completely understand the day-to-day lives of dominatrixes. This will help you decide on the services you can offer your clients. Sex workers can be your biggest competition, but there are some dominatrix kinks that are unique and will help you stand out from sex workers. 

Some examples of the kinks that professional dominatrixes offer are:

• Abasiophilia
• Acarophilia
• Age play
• Aliens
• Amazons
• Authoritarians
• Begging

Apart from the above list, many dominatrices offer hundreds of other kinks and services. You can choose the ones you are comfortable with.  

Step 2: Create an Online Presence 

In this digital era, having an online presence for the services you provide is crucial. After the pandemic, most of the dominatrix have moved online to make personalized videos or started uploading dominatrix porn videos. If you want to make these all a reality, you need a platform or a fansite of your own where you can upload your dominatrix content. 

Step 3: Make a Social Media Presence 

Social media is one of the best ways to market your services. Almost all potential customers will have a social media account, so you can create one and post about the services you provide. You can do some research on how to set up the account, such as the name of your social handle and the bio section. 

Make a strategy for marketing your dominatrix content and services on social media. Also, go through the platform’s content policies and curate your content so that the content you upload doesn’t violate them. Social media platforms like Reddit, Facebook, Tumblr, X (formerly know as Twitter), etc. can help you improve your social media presence. 

Step 4: Learn To Be a Dominatrix

Being a dominatrix is a professional occupation, and in order to advance in this field, you must constantly learn from professionals in the field. BDSM accessories or equipment are to be given the utmost importance. Without the BDSM accessories, one can’t take pleasure in BDSM roleplay.  

Let’s see some pieces of equipment that are a must when you want to play BDSM. 

• Play Cuffs
• Sex Spanking Paddle
• Sex Floggers
• Bondage
• Nipple Clamps
• Anal Plugs & Dildos
• Mouth Gags

A professional dominatrix will be able to use these BDSM accessories efficiently to keep the pleasure of BDSM play intact. We will also discuss these BDSM toys further in a section. 

Step 5: Focus on Quality Service 

When you start getting clients’ requests for BDSM play, make sure that you explore every part of BDSM to satisfy the fetish of your client. Try to set a benchmark and fulfill that every time you give out services. When uploading content online, ensure that the quality of the content is good enough to distinguish your services from those of your competitors. 

To maintain quality and continuous improvement, you can seek feedback from your clients on their experience with the BDSM services you provide. 

Tools and Toys to Become a Professional Dominatrix 

There are many BDSM accessories that a dominatrix can have to play the role. Here, we will discuss some of the must-have BDSM tools for a pleasureful play. 

High Heels  

High heels are the most sought-after piece of clothing by most female dominatrixes. Maybe because high heels make the domme appear taller and more dominant than without a heel in front of a sub. In addition, dominatrixes prefer black leather shoes with a pointy toe that makes a distinct sound, which marks their authoritative arrival. 

Bondage Rope/Tape

If you’re a pro in BDSM role play, you can even use a bondage rope to tie your partner in a particular position and restrict their movement. Dominatrix usually use these ropes to tie their submissive partners to their beds to apply BDSM tools on them. One thing we should be careful about is the quality of the bondage ropes or tapes you use for BDSM.

Bondage ropes should be of good quality so that the sub’s skin doesn’t get damaged. While selecting tape, buy tape that protects the skin and adheres only to itself. You can also use it in place of shackles, bondage rope, handcuffs, and mouth gags if you are a complete beginner. 

BDSM Candles

These are specially designed candles that don’t harm your skin because they’re made to melt at lower temperatures. You can use the candles as part of your temperature play and drip them upon your companion. 

Leather Floggers

Floggers have several tails used to strike your partner or for sensation or impact play. The materials and fabrics used in floggers allow for a wide range of sensations. First-time floggers or beginners should search for an item with a fair number of tails manufactured from softer material. Such floggers will deliver a light thuddy effect without being too intense.

Flexible Handcuffs  and Ankle cuffs

These flexible cuffs go around the wrists or ankles and are not used to prevent your sub’s movement. As a beginner, you first understand the concept of BDSM play and use safer pieces of equipment like flexible handcuffs and ankle cuffs. These cuffs will give a small amount of resistance to your sub while moving and allow the subs to get away from a submissive position whenever they want. 

Mouth Gags

Mouth gags are BDSM toys that prevent your partner from speaking and making much sound when worn. This toy plays an important role in dominatrix play as it doesn’t allow the sub to speak or restrict any kind of sound without the domme’s permission. 

There are basically 3 types of mouth gags:

• Over The Mouth Gags
• Open Mouth Gags
• In The Mouth Gags

Nipple Clamp

Nipple clamps will squeeze and pinch the nipples of your sub according to the adjusted tightness of the clamps. Make sure you use the clamps with proper safety measures, or else you will hurt the nipples of your sub-partner.  It is advisable not to leave a nipple clamp on for too long, or else it may damage the nipple tissue as blood flow will be cut off from the nipples. 

Paddles

A paddle is a type of sex toy that is typically made of wood or leather and has two flat sides and a handle. In BDSM or bondage play, paddles are frequently used to give the sub a light or tight slap on the body. Paddles are used for paddling, which refers to a form of sexual practice where one person, usually the submissive, is repeatedly struck by their dominant. 

Check with your partner and make sure you hit “safe zone” areas of the body, such as the buttocks or thighs. These are fleshy parts that can cushion the impact of the paddle. 

Corsets 

This is a piece of clothing that every dominatrix prefers. It is a close-fitting garment that takes the shape of your body when worn. Purchase a good quality so that you feel comfortable after wearing it. Being a domme, you should be confident and comfortable to dominate your BDSM partner. 

Feather Ticklers

A tickler has a slender handle with feathers at the end that you can brush against your partner to tickle them and tease their senses. The motive is to tickle them until the tickling becomes unbearable for the sub. Then, the sub-partner will have to beg the domme to stop, and the domme will make the final decision. 

Anal plugs and Dildos

Anal plugs are sex toys that are used to insert in a butt to get pleasure. It is used to enlarge the anus for anal intercourse and for sexual pleasure. The portion of the butt plug that is pushed inside a butt is known as the bulb, and the remaining portion outside is called a stem. Most of the butt plugs come with a vibrator these days. When inserted in a man’s butt, it can stimulate the prostate and give an anal orgasm. 

Tips on How to Become a Successful Dominatrix

Understand Your Sub-Partner

Whenever you get the offer to dominate someone, the first thing you should do is better understand the client’s desire. What would they love about the play? Getting to know your submissive partner better will help you in the dominatrix play. After all, you are playing this dominatrix to give them the pleasure they are craving for.  

Try to Avoid Orgasm

Getting horny and playing with BDSM toys can give you pleasure till the time you orgasm. Remember you are providing service as a dominatrix, not as a sex worker.  A pleasureful play may lead to an orgasm of both the domme and sub, but you shouldn’t be doing BDSM play with this intention. Apart from that, being a dominatrix, a sub-partner must beg you for things and give them out that easily. It kills all the fun. 

Use Props Properly 

If bondage or impact play is something you and your partner are interested in, you can use BDSM toys and props like paddles, leather floggers, or feather ticklers. That provides just the perfect amount of excitement without the chance of severe injury or harm. 

But, before you start using those, make sure you understand how to use props precisely before including them in your play. Start with BDSM equipment for beginners, such as handcuffs, blindfolds, and mild spanking. To improve your play, you may enroll in a dominatrix master class offered by industry experts. 

Make a Script and Stick to It 

Before starting the play, write a script that you can follow in case you get excited and horny by your sub-partner, and the only thing you want is to make out with him. A proper script of the play will help you keep your emotions in control. After all, you will be paid if you play the BDSM role with your client and make the play pleasureful for both of you. 

Apart from that, if you are a complete beginner, having a proper script can guide you throughout the BDSM play and will help you provide a better service to your sub-partners. Being professional while giving a service always pays off.  

Talk After The Play

After the BDSM play is over, you can get out of character and be tender to your sub-partner. Neither you are a domme now, nor he/she is a sub after BDSM play ends. Both of you should have some water and calm yourselves down. Check on your client to see if they are okay and doing fine after the session. In case everything is under control, take feedback from them about the session and if the session gave them the pleasure they were looking for. 

Be Consistent 

The life of a dominatrix is not so simple. You will encounter various types of clients and their weird requests. Tackling these diverse ranges of customers will make you feel overwhelmed, but don’t give up. This field is full of challenges, and you have to be strong and confident enough to deal with all these issues.

Also, money doesn’t flow easily to beginners in this field; you must apply new strategies to crack the market. One such strategy is offering dominatrix videos online on request or dominatrix POV videos. 

Why Choose xModel by Adent.io to Become a Dominatrix?

As we have understood, beginners may face difficulties in getting clients to provide their dominatrix services due to a lack of contacts and visibility in the market. With increased digital literacy, models have now started providing dominatrix services online. There are many platforms, such as OnlyFans, Fansly, ManyVids, etc., where dominatrix models can upload their videos and earn from subscriptions, pay-per-views, etc. 

However, to upload your content on those platforms, you will have to pay a platform fee, a percentage of your earnings. These percentages range from 15% to 20% of your earnings. If you want to avoid these charges, you should create your own fansite. 

If you want to launch a fansite with a low investment, xModel by Adent.io is the right choice. xModel is a read-made fansite script that industry experts designed to help beginners like you make an extensive list of built-in monetization options. The list of monetization features are:

• Sell adult content like videos and photos.
• Earn from the disappearing stories on your fansite by selling them to fans.
• Get commission from affiliate partners by hosting affiliate ads on your fansite. 
• Create a wishlist and receive donations from your fans to fulfill your wishes. 

Final Thoughts

As we conclude, you should now have a comprehensive understanding of how to become a dominatrix. We have explored various BDSM equipment and toys, along with their usage in professional dominatrix roles. Additionally, safety has been emphasized as our foremost concern, with precautions thoroughly discussed to ensure a safe and enjoyable dominatrix role-play experience